Forgiveness has been described as a quality by which one ceases to feel resentment against another for a wrong he or she has committed against oneself. Forgiveness can be granted with or without the other asking for forgiveness. Some people also believe that persons can forgive themselves, that it is possible to forgive groups of people, or that it is possible to be forgiven by God.

So many people who have been abused, neglected, and or hurt in many other ways have great difficulty getting to true forgiveness. The way to get stuck and block yourself from forgiveness is to mistakenly believe that by holding on to your anger, rage, and hate that you are getting revenge upon the person you choose not to forgive. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Forgiveness is not about justifying anyone's wrong behaviour, ever.Forgiveness is not about forgetting. Forgiveness does not mean that you have to reconnect or have the person you want forgive involved in your life. Forgiveness is remembering and making a choice to let go. The letting go is for you. Forgiveness is a gift that you can give to yourself. If you continue to hold the hurt, anger, and hate, you only hurt yourself. You are not hurting the person or persons that hurt you.

In order for forgiveness to be possible it is necessary to stop blaming. No matter how much we may have suffered as children we will stay stuck in our pain as long as we continue to blame our abusers for all that has gone asunder in our lives.

When we own our own issues, and when we realize that most of the things we are not pleased about in our lives are a direct result of our own choices, only this kind of ownership of our issues will enable us to move forward and to forgive.

It is a compassionate feeling that support a willingness to forgive.

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